I have a strange problem with my wife?

Question

I have a strange problem with my wife?
Before i explain my problem, We have an arranged marriage and we are blessed with 2 Children, my relationship with my wife has been on a downhill road , on a regular basis but we are still married for 13 years. My wife has little slight temperament and gets puts off easily, she likes stay at and has very few friends. She usually is close only to her mother and 2 sisters. As usuall we had an argument last year on one of the issues and usually she does not keep quite she takes the arguments to higher level by screeming and sometimes throwing things around. On one such occasion i pushed her as i could not stand the comfort at which she was blaming me and at that time she was 3 moths pregnant. It was a very small push no one got hurt or anything. I apologized and we were ok. Infact during her pregnancy i helped her a lot with the house works and everything from about bringing food and taking care of the children. she was very happy until the delivery. Once the delivery was done she has changed slightly, I was expecting that after the delivery we would be able to sleep together once again. But it is 1.5 years now that we haven’t slept together. i tried to ask her the reasons, she says she doesn’t like me and because i pushed her she is upset and doesn’t want to sleep with me and she has asked god to pardon her.
I am having a traumatic effect on my life but somehow I manage to keep things in control both in office and at home, i behave with everyone as if nothing has happened but this issue keeps eating me up internally.
I need advice from our women sisters... where do I stand.. and what should i do ??

Answer 1

sounds like a typical marriage.

Answer 2

Your marriage was prearranged , so did she love you? Women's emotions run high, especially with the influx of hormonal changes. It is hard to forget a husband pushing a wife when she is pregnant and she can't forget that. Never hit or push your woman. How can she trust you? I don't know your ages, so maybe you both are immature. She also isn't a baby factory and will tire easily when pregnant and having to look after the other children.

Another possibility is that she may have postpartum depression and if that is the case she needs professional help and you need to support her and love her. She has already told you she doesn't like you and the push probably was one of the main causes.

You think you have things under control at home, but you are mistaken. Maybe at the office you do, but not at home.

If this really began after having the baby, I think it is post partum depression which should be treated. Get her help and if she still feels the same way, you can't make her love you or have sex with you against her will. If she wants to be pardoned by God, it appears she may want out of the relationship.

Answer 3

I don't think it has a lot to do with you pushing her, that's just an event that she can tie her feelings to. Since it was an arranged marriage she was never in love with you and over the years she has come to dislike you.



I don't think it's necesarily anything that you did, it's just a natural reaction to being in a marriage that she never wanted. I can't imagine how trapped she must feel and that would be hard for you to overcome. Again, I don't mean that you make her feel trapped. Since it isn't because of anything you did I don't know what you could do to change it or make it better.

Answer 4

Ok im going to be honest with you. When I opened your question and saw how long it was, I hovered over the back button like four times...As I got to reading, I really felt the pain in your words. You remind me of my Dad. A very devoted man who lets his wife walk all over him. I do know for one that you have to please a womans mind before she can be pleased in the bedroom for starters. I really think you two need marriage counseling and more romance in your life. I am honestly in tears right now because this reminds me of my Dad sooo much. Men allow women to walk all over them and it's sad. I know you cant get divorced because it's an arranged marriage... And I can tell that you are doing all you can do for her. I wish I had some advice. I can tell you have tried everything and if you could give her the world, you would. You're a very caring sensitive man and I wish all men were like you. You need to stand your ground and tell her that her temper will not be tolerated. People can not yell or argue with themselves. So if she starts yelling and throwing tantrums, just leave. Leave for a few hours to calm down and let her calm down. I think by her telling you she doesnt like you is emotional and mental abuse and you do not deserve it. If you ever need to talk, feel free to email me.

God bless you

Amberly

Answer 5

I am not an women.But as your elder brother(17) I like to say you one thing.I think Your wife is not anger at you for the one reason only.There may be another reason which you have forgotten.You waste 1.5 years.Go and talk to your wife not to her parents or anybody.You please her to say which thing you does wrong.You must prove that you loves her sincerely.If you do that your marriage life must be happy.Don't waste time.Talk to her before tonight.If you had any minus points try to change that into plus.She does not anger at you with out any reason.ALL THE BEST TO LIVE A HAPPY AND MARRIED LIFE.

Answer 6

She sounds adamant. Unfortunately for you, she reached a breaking point. She is done with you even, though she is staying in the marriage. It might be best to split up. I know. You want a happy family for the kids but if you two have issues the children WILL feel the tension between you two and it will upset them. If you aren't happy, your kids know it. You need to find a way to split amicably.

I reached a breaking point (after 18 mostly bad years) with my ex after he said something extremely insulting to me and there was absolutely nothing he could possibly do to make me want to ever be in a relationship with him again. I decided no one would ever talk to me that way again. It was a weird feeling but you would have to feel it to understand it. I felt as if our whole relationship had never even existed. It sounds like that is what happened to her. Sorry.